Unanswered Prayers?
Several years ago there was a popular song that said, "Some of God's best gifts are unanswered prayers”. I like the idea of the song. It basically says that we think we know what is best for us, but sometimes what we pray for would have actually turn out badly for us. As they say, "Be careful what you pray for, you might get it”. There is wisdom in that, because sometimes we really do not know what is best for us. In hindsight we may recognize that what we wanted might not have been best for us. That is a great insight and very true, however I do want to challenge something the song writer says. Often I hear that phrase "unanswered prayer" from people. So the only type of prayer that gets "answered" is the one in which we get what we want?
First, that implies that the purpose of prayer is to tell God what we need and want and to get it. In this mode of thought, prayer is a tool to get through life, to get out of jams we have gotten into. Perhaps, it is a tool to demand of God not just our legitimate needs, but also our desires. When we don't get what we pray for, we assume God did not "answer our prayer". There is a certain kind of anger at God in that attitude. It insists that God must be the great Santa Claus in the sky, giving us what we want and desire. There is a whole popular theology that sees God this way. It says that if we "claim the promises" of God, we can have everything we want including all the material wealth we want. People who don't get what they want from prayer, according to this view, do not have enough faith. These folk never consider that what they want may be harmful for them. They never ask themselves, "What does God want?”. When prayer becomes a means to an end, there is no relationship with the Divine. There is no priority in our prayer given to what God wants. God's sole purpose is to fulfill our wishes and dreams.
If we assume prayer is a tool to get what we want, it becomes easy to say that God did not answer our prayer. Does it ever occur to us that God might have said "no"? Is it possible that God will grant our request at a later time, but now is not the best time? The idea of "unanswered prayer" implies God is not listening. We assume God does not care for us if we do not get what we want. It assumes that prayer is a wish list, or maybe a ransom demand. God's silence is interpreted as a rejection of us and our perceived need. However, we do not always know what is best for us, so God’s “no” might be for our good.
Jesus, when facing the cross, asked that the cup of suffering be taken from him. He asked it three times. Each time, however, he added "not as I will, but as you will". Jesus lived the prayer he taught us to pray, "Thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven". God invites us into relationship with himself and God does hear our prayers, granting them according to his will .We must not look at prayer as a tool to get what we want, but as a communication and communion with God. It is a two way communication. We are invited to ask God for our needs. The problem comes in not also praying that God's will be done. When we ask a friend for something and don't get what we want, does that necessarily mean our friend does not care about us? Some would say yes, but it is not always true. A friend is not a friend if they say yes to harmful things. Real love and friendship endure by communication. That is what prayer is. We ask, God loves us and bids us to do so, but we must accept God's answer. We learn that what we think we want is not always best for us. Like Jesus, we must acknowledge God's sovereign will, and accept it. Like Jesus, God is with us in our suffering. Jesus became like us to show us God is with us, even to the point of suffering and dying. We may pray that God will move a mountain; we may say that God did not answer our prayer if the mountain stays in place. What if God has given us the equipment and guidance to climb the mountain? Maybe we don't see that because we are attached to our solution to our own problems, not God’s.
Ultimately this is what the country song I quoted is trying to say. Sometimes what we want is not what is best for us, and what we get is what we really need. However, that does not mean that God has not heard and answered. Prayer is a communion with God, not a list of demands. God is always with us in our sufferings and our needs. Let us pray for what we need and even want, but let us realize God can say no. That sometimes is the best thing for us!
In The Peace of God's Presence,
Jim Stahr
Several years ago there was a popular song that said, "Some of God's best gifts are unanswered prayers”. I like the idea of the song. It basically says that we think we know what is best for us, but sometimes what we pray for would have actually turn out badly for us. As they say, "Be careful what you pray for, you might get it”. There is wisdom in that, because sometimes we really do not know what is best for us. In hindsight we may recognize that what we wanted might not have been best for us. That is a great insight and very true, however I do want to challenge something the song writer says. Often I hear that phrase "unanswered prayer" from people. So the only type of prayer that gets "answered" is the one in which we get what we want?
First, that implies that the purpose of prayer is to tell God what we need and want and to get it. In this mode of thought, prayer is a tool to get through life, to get out of jams we have gotten into. Perhaps, it is a tool to demand of God not just our legitimate needs, but also our desires. When we don't get what we pray for, we assume God did not "answer our prayer". There is a certain kind of anger at God in that attitude. It insists that God must be the great Santa Claus in the sky, giving us what we want and desire. There is a whole popular theology that sees God this way. It says that if we "claim the promises" of God, we can have everything we want including all the material wealth we want. People who don't get what they want from prayer, according to this view, do not have enough faith. These folk never consider that what they want may be harmful for them. They never ask themselves, "What does God want?”. When prayer becomes a means to an end, there is no relationship with the Divine. There is no priority in our prayer given to what God wants. God's sole purpose is to fulfill our wishes and dreams.
If we assume prayer is a tool to get what we want, it becomes easy to say that God did not answer our prayer. Does it ever occur to us that God might have said "no"? Is it possible that God will grant our request at a later time, but now is not the best time? The idea of "unanswered prayer" implies God is not listening. We assume God does not care for us if we do not get what we want. It assumes that prayer is a wish list, or maybe a ransom demand. God's silence is interpreted as a rejection of us and our perceived need. However, we do not always know what is best for us, so God’s “no” might be for our good.
Jesus, when facing the cross, asked that the cup of suffering be taken from him. He asked it three times. Each time, however, he added "not as I will, but as you will". Jesus lived the prayer he taught us to pray, "Thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven". God invites us into relationship with himself and God does hear our prayers, granting them according to his will .We must not look at prayer as a tool to get what we want, but as a communication and communion with God. It is a two way communication. We are invited to ask God for our needs. The problem comes in not also praying that God's will be done. When we ask a friend for something and don't get what we want, does that necessarily mean our friend does not care about us? Some would say yes, but it is not always true. A friend is not a friend if they say yes to harmful things. Real love and friendship endure by communication. That is what prayer is. We ask, God loves us and bids us to do so, but we must accept God's answer. We learn that what we think we want is not always best for us. Like Jesus, we must acknowledge God's sovereign will, and accept it. Like Jesus, God is with us in our suffering. Jesus became like us to show us God is with us, even to the point of suffering and dying. We may pray that God will move a mountain; we may say that God did not answer our prayer if the mountain stays in place. What if God has given us the equipment and guidance to climb the mountain? Maybe we don't see that because we are attached to our solution to our own problems, not God’s.
Ultimately this is what the country song I quoted is trying to say. Sometimes what we want is not what is best for us, and what we get is what we really need. However, that does not mean that God has not heard and answered. Prayer is a communion with God, not a list of demands. God is always with us in our sufferings and our needs. Let us pray for what we need and even want, but let us realize God can say no. That sometimes is the best thing for us!
In The Peace of God's Presence,
Jim Stahr
posted by Theoblogger at
5:16 PM
